Howl
by Arra
Summary: AU - Remus is a Death Eater and Sirius is really the Potter's secret keeper. When Sirius is captured will Remus be able to get the information Voldemort wants?
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is AU, What if Remus never went to Hogwarts, but had gone to Beauxbaton instead? Life for James Sirius and Peter is relatively the same exept for things that were directly related to Remus; no werewolf, no womping willow, no animagus, no shrieking shack, and no reason for Sirius not to be the Potter's Secret-keeper. (it's my pet theory that Sirius' reasoning had something to do with him thinking Remus was the traitor) And at Beauxbaton Remus went through school ignored made fun of and looked down upon by every one, and had to put up with the taunts and threats of his piers alone.   
So when Voldemort approaches him to become a Death Eater, he jumps at the chance earn power and respect from all the people who had made him miserable. 

Warning: this story will contain in later chapters; torture, blood, violence and slashy sex. (in roughly that order) If any of the stuff squicks you, DON'T READ!

Dedicated to Mithua, who I hope will still speak to me after reading this. ^_^

* * *

Howl 

Chapter 1 -

Sirius Black sat in the darkest corner of yet another smoky, crowded, _muggle_ bar. He hated this, he really did. But there was nothing he could do about it.

He had to stay hidden. For James and Lily and little Harry's sake if not for his own. Sirius smiled a little as he thought of his godson. The little prat was adorable and he looked too much like ol' Jamesie for the kids own good. And Sirius hadn't gotten to see him for six months now.

He was the reason Sirius was there, in that filthy bar, sitting alone in the corner. Him and the Fidelius Charm. Sirius had always thought that secrets were pretty easy to keep. He and James and Peter had had to keep plenty during their time at Hogwarts. But this was different. Lives hung on this secret. Lives of people he considered his family.

Sirius stared down into his nearly warm beer and sighed. He'd been 'in hiding' for half a year and it was getting damn tiring. And lonely. 

Half a year of constantly moving, of never telling anyone his real name, of dropping everything and leaving town if he ever saw a spark of recognition in someone's eyes when they looked at him. Not even owls to or from those he was trying to protect. 

Sirius looked back up from his beer and scanned the room. Maybe, just for tonight, he wouldn't go to bed alone. But no one, male or female, caught his interest and he sighed again before getting up and heading for the door.

He was halfway there when another patron stumbled into him.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the man mumbled, his hands resting on Sirius' shoulders to steady himself. He looked up at Sirius and blinked wide gold eyes, chuckling slightly. "I think I drank a bit too much," he said breathlessly and licked his lips. Sirius could only nod mutely and stare. 'He's beautiful!' Shaggy gold brown hair fell into his breathtaking eyes. And soft full lips parted invitingly as the gorgeous creature licked his lips again.

"Tha-That's…" Sirius swallowed and tried again. "That's okay." He croaked out. The stranger untangled himself from Sirius and took a step back, only to stumble and have to catch himself on Sirius again. 

"Could you help me outside?" the beautiful creature asked. "I think I need some fresh air." Sirius was only too happy to comply, letting the other man put a steadying arm around his waist and headed for the door. 

Once they were outside Sirius' companion leaned even more heavily against him and even went so far as to lean his head against Sirius' shoulder. Sirius wondered if the other man was really that drunk, or if he was trying to seduce him. He hoped it was the latter.

"Are you feeling better?" Sirius asked. His companion turned and looked up at him, his hand coming to rest against Sirius' chest.

"I don't know." He said, fixing Sirius with his amazing gold eyes. "I think I just need a place I could lie down for a while. Maybe I could go with you?" Sirius couldn't keep himself from smiling. Well that answered his question; drunk or not the man was trying to seduce him. And Sirius found that he rather liked the idea.

It didn't take Sirius long to lead them to his hotel room and as soon as he'd closed the door his companion pounced on him. They kissed fiercely, pawing at each other's clothes, desperate to feel the touch of skin against skin. Sirius moaned as the other man started licking and biting along the underside of his chin.

"What's your name?" he whispered seductively in Sirius' ear. "I want to know what I should be screaming." Sirius whimpered.

"Sirius…" he panted out. He leaned in to kiss him again but was stopped as the body against his suddenly became unresponsive. Sirius pulled back to look at his companion, a knot of worry forming in his stomach.

The person before him was no longer the fragile beauty that had stumbled into him in the bar. The man before him radiated feral power and control, a sneer was pulling at the once sensuous lips. 

"That's what I thought," he said smugly, pulling a wand from some hidden pocket and pointed it at Sirius' chest.

"Stupefy!"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Just a little reminder. This is not a happy story and Remus is _not_ the same person as in the books, or fanon or anything else. He's impulsive, sadistic and mean. He is a Death Eater, and he acts like one.

* * *

Howl  
Chapter 2 - 

Remus Lupin chuckled to himself as he apparated back to Lord Voldemort's stronghold with his captive. It had been painfully easy to find the infamous Sirius Black. And even easier to capture him. 

He had been 'graciously' allowed to accompany the humans on one of their (miserably debacled) attempts to capture Black. They'd tortured the muggle in charge of the motel where a source had told them a man matching Black's description had been seen. And they had found that, yes, Black had been staying there, but that he had left just that morning for parts unknown. 

The humans had cast several apparition tracing and locating charms but all had come up blank. So they had given the thankless menial job of searching Blacks vacant room to the two most loathed members of the group. It never ceased to amuse him that Severus Snape was hated by at least as many of the humans as he was. 

But Snape was still human himself and therefor Remus had been made to do all the manual work while Snape just supervised. Which was fine, because it gave Remus the opportunity to catch Black's scent. And, after finding nothing, they prepared to apparate back to the stronghold to report exactly how little they hadn't found. 

But as they did a quick search of the surrounding area one last time Remus had caught a whiff of Black's scent coming from a new direction. Thankfully Snape hadn't waited for him, so he was free to hunt alone. He'd quickly found himself in a rundown, seedy pub watching a man that fit Black's description stare into his beer. Getting him alone had been easy too. 

Before they had left he had cornered Pettigrew and made him tell Remus everything he could about Black just in case their information was correct for once and they actually did meet up with him. Not that any of the other Death Eaters bothered with anything as subtle as psychological warfare, but Remus liked to be prepared. And it had paid off. 

Apparently Black had rather unique taste in bedmates, namely those of his own gender. Remus knew he was beautiful, at least to those who didn't know what he truly was. And he had used that knowledge accordingly. A faked drunken stagger, a few coy looks and 'accidental' caresses and Black had practically dragged him somewhere private. 

And now it was time he showed his catch to Lord Voldemort. He had apparated straight to the dungeons and quickly levitated Black's unconscious body into the nearest cell. A muttered charm and iron shackles soon incased Black's wrists and ankles as he lay slumped sideways on the stone pallet. 

"I will give you one thing Black. You're a damn good kisser," Remus said to the unconscious man, licking his lips in memory. Back in the muggle hotel room he'd had half a mind to let things go farther than they had. He should have let Black suck him off. It had been a while, especially since none of Death Eater's would touch him because of his Lycanthropy. "There will be time enough for that later," he said, leering down at Black before leaving the dungeons to find his master. 

Remus only barely kept himself from laughing as he approached Lord Voldemort's chambers. Even through the heavy oak doors he could hear the humans begging for forgiveness. He pushed open a door and stood watching the spectacle they were making of themselves. 

"Please my Lord, we will capture him, just give us a bit more time." Remus' self control failed him and he started to laugh, the sound echoing off the stone walls and causing everyone in the room to look at him. 

"You find it amusing, Lupin, that your fellow Death Eaters have failed to bring me Black?" The Dark Lord asked, his voice chillingly calm and raising the hairs on the back of Remus' neck. "I find that interesting, considering you were with them this time, where you not?" 

"I was with them, my Lord. But they all left before the hunt became interesting. I laugh because the humans were so sure of themselves and yet they were unable to find Black when he was less than a kilometer away." Remus said smoothly. There was a general cry of outrage from the humans at this news. 

"Silence!" Voldemort commanded, and it was suddenly as quite as a grave, no one even dared to breathe. "You have him." It wasn't quite a question, more of a threat that if that wasn't what he had been implying he would be very very sorry. 

"Yes," Remus said, unable to keep himself from grinning smugly. Voldemort stretched his no-longer quite human features into a sickening parody of a smile and turned to what, at first, appeared to be nothing but a pile of black robes on the floor. 

"Severus, go with Lupin and make sure that your old school mate is comfortable in his cell." The pile resolved itself into a person as Snape shakily tried to pull himself up from the ground. Several Death Eaters laughed when his shaking limbs let out and he fell back to the floor. 'He must have been Crutiatused, Voldemort never did learn not to kill the messenger' Remus thought mildly as Snape finally dragged himself to his feet. 

"Yes my Lord," Snape said quietly, walking unsteadily past Remus. The werewolf bowed slightly, turned and headed back to the dungeon, still grinning. "Why didn't you tell the rest of us?" Snape bit out once they were out of earshot of everyone else. 

"You had already apparated away by the time I'd caught his scent," Remus said with a shrug. 

"I'm sure," Snape said, making it plain that he didn't believe him at all. They reached Black's cell as Severus started to say something else, but his word died in his throat as he looked at his old enemy, there, alive and glaring at him. 

"Well, good morning Mr. Black I didn't expect you to be up yet," Remus said as he opened the door to the cell so that Snape could get a better look. That was why they had been sent back down to the dungeons, so that Snape could identify that it was indeed Sirius Black that Remus had captured. 

"Figures. Always knew you'd be a Death Eater," Black spit out, his eyes never leaving Snape. Remus frowned; he'd been the one to catch him, so why wasn't Black paying any attention to him? 

"And who said you could talk?" he asked nastily, pulling out his wand and waving it at Black threateningly. 

"Fuck you," Black said casually, still not looking at him. Before he could think to stop himself, Remus lashed out and hit Black across the face full force. There was a sickening crunch on impact and Remus was pretty sure he'd broken the other man's cheekbone. He was rewarded with a cry of pain from his captive before Black got himself under control, and glared at him silently. 

"Oops," Remus said, his voice monotone. "I didn't mean to do that. Here let me heal you," as he said this he brought his wand up and pressed hard against the growing bruise on the left side of Black's face. The other man jerked back violently and cracking the back of his head against the stone wall, tears of pain coming to his dark-blue eyes. 

Remus snorted in amusement and waved his wand, absently muttering a healing spell before turning to look at Snape. 

"Well?" he asked. Severus shook himself, unable to hide the look of revulsion on his face at Remus' actions. 

"It's him," Snape said quietly. Remus just smiled and led them both out of the cell, locking it behind them as they left. Silence greeted them as they returned to Voldemort's chambers. 

"Sirius Black is within your possession my Lord," Snape said quietly. Murmurs broke out among the other death eaters and many of them glared at Remus murderously. 

"Well done, Lupin. Since you managed to capture him, then I think it should be your _honor_-" he said 'honor' mockingly and Remus felt his self-assurance slip, breaking out in cold sweat at the malicious glint in the Dark Lord's eye. Whatever job he was going to be given, he was sure Voldemort wanted him to fail. "-of being the one to get Black to reveal where the Potter's are hiding." 

'But I'm terrible at interrogation, he _knows_ that,' Remus thought desperately. But he bowed without complaint, a feeling of icy dread settling in the pit of his stomach. 

"Yes my Lord." 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - 

"Stupid!" 

*Bang!* 

"Stupid!" 

*Bang!* 

"Stupid!" 

*Bang!* 

"Stupid!" Sirius yelled and banged his head against the wall again in frustration. It was just about the only thing he could do. The chains holding his arms weren't long enough to let him stand; otherwise he would have been pacing no matter how small the room was. He wanted to yell and scream and curse, but he wasn't about to let those bastards have the satisfaction.

He couldn't believe he'd fallen for that. He'd always imagined that if he were caught it would be by at least half a dozen Death Eaters all surrounding him and throwing curses at him till he finally fell. Or at lest something equally dramatic. But no, he'd been distracted by a pretty face and he'd forgotten, for just a minute, that there were people after him and he was supposed to be hiding. 

His mind replayed the events of the night, trying to find some little clue that the other man had had more sinister intentions than a shag in his hotel room. But all his mind could come up with were the contradicting visions, of gold eyes filled with playful desire and then mocking contempt, the feel of warm lips kissing along his jaw and the blinding pain of a slap hard enough to break bone. He sighed and slumped against the wall of the cell. He'd give one thing to that guy, whatever his name was. He was a good actor: Sirius hadn't suspected a thing.

"I'm sorry James," he whispered, closing his eyes against the headache starting to pound in the back of his skull. "I knew this was a bad idea, you should have chosen Peter, no one would have ever suspected him," Sirius' eyes snapped open as a sharp laugh echoed against the stone walls of his cell. Leaning against the frame of his cell door was the bastard who had gotten him into this mess. Sirius glared at him, but the only response he got was a teeth-baring smile.

"Oh, yes, and that would have made our job so much easier," the other man said smugly.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius bit out. "You guys probably don't even know who Peter is."

"You think so? You're wrong, I know very well who Peter Pettigrew is," Sirius' eyes grew wide. 'Oh God, what have they done to Peter.' He thought frantically.

"If you bastards have hurt him…" but he was cut off as his captor laughed at him again.

"Hurt him?" he asked, as if it were the most absurd thing he had ever heard. "_He_ came to _us_." Sirius shook his head violently. The meaning was clear, but he just couldn't believe him. Peter was harmless. 

"You're lying!" he yelled jerking forward to punch him only to be brought up short by the shackles on his wrists.

Instantly, the Death Eater was standing over him, his hands shoving Sirius' shoulders painfully against the wall. Sirius tried to keep his expression neutral, but the intensity with which the other man was staring at him made him shiver.

"Don't believe me?" the man asked in a silken whisper. "Then I'll have him bring your meals…when I feel you deserve them." 'Ah, now we're getting to the threats,' Sirius thought. He'd had several classes on interrogating prisoners in Auror training. But in the end it always boiled down to threats and Sirius already knew that those wouldn't work on him. Because nothing the Death Eaters could do to him would be half as bad as what he knew they'd do to James and his family if they found them.

"Now, I know you can't be _that_ stupid. You know why you're here and what I want. So make this easier on both of us and just tell me where they are," the man said, his eyes never leaving Sirius'.

"I know what you want," Sirius said, smirking. "And it's got nothing to do with the information you _Master_ wants you to beat out of me." His captor's gold eyes widened in surprise, before narrowing to slits.

"You think so do you?" he growled out. He leaned forward and ran his tongue along Sirius' bottom lip. The action was so unexpectedly gentle that Sirius gasped. His captor took the opportunity to lap at his mouth again, his tongue sliding between Sirius' lips to explore his mouth. 

At first Sirius kissed back, reveling in the warmth and passion behind the caress, but as he tried to put his arms around the other man and the chains on his wrists clanged against the rock wall behind him he was brought painfully back to reality. His eyes snapped open and, without thinking, he bit down, hard.

The other man pulled back with a yelp and put his hand to his now bleeding lip. For a surreal moment Sirius thought that his eyes were glowing: pale yellow, ethereal and terrifying. But the moment passed and Sirius found himself with a broken jaw without seeing more than a blur of the hit that delivered it. The world spun for a moment before he forced himself to ignore the pain and pay attention to his captor.

"Don't _ever_ bite me," the man ground out, baring teeth that, for the first time, Sirius realized were a bit too long and a bit too pointed to be human. "I bite back." Sirius barely withheld a shiver of fear at the ice and malice in the other man's voice.

Sirius watched as the other man forced himself to calm down and pulled his wand from a pocket in his robes and pointed it at him. Sirius tensed, fully expecting _crucio_ or _imperio_ depending on what his captor wanted to do with him. But the only spell cast was one to heal his jaw.

"I could have killed you for that," he said softly, his eyes focused on some distant point, not even looking at him.

"No you couldn't. Your master needs me alive," Sirius countered, moving his newly healed jaw experimentally. Amber eyes moved to focus on him, his captor cocked his head, considering.

"True," he said at last. "But I could make you wish you were dead." There was no change of expression, no warning as the man kicked out and crushed Sirius' arm between his heel and the wall. Sirius couldn't keep himself from crying out in pain, instinctively trying to move the arm to cradle it against his chest and only managed to twist his arm into an unnatural angle by pulling against the shackle on his wrist.

"I'm not going to heal that one," Sirius heard the other man say through ringing ears. His senses were swimming and he hoped he didn't go into shock. 

"What's your name?" Sirius bit out as he managed to focus on his cell again. The other man raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "I want to know who I should be damning to hell." He explained, glaring at him the whole time. His captor just laughed.

" My name is Remus Lupin. But it won't do you any good, I'm already damned," he said and then left Sirius alone in the cell. For the next few hours he swam in and out of consciousness, the pain in his arm settling down to a dull throb as long as he stayed perfectly still. He was roused from his half-sleep by the door to his cell opening again.

Sirius looked up, fully expecting to see Remus walking through the door. But it wasn't Remus. It was Peter.

"He was telling the truth," Sirius said numbly as the short and rather pudgy form of his school friend walked across the cell and placed a bowl of water on the stone pallet that Sirius was chained to. Peter didn't say anything; he wouldn't even look at Sirius.

"Peter…Pete!" Sirius yelled as the smaller man turned to leave the cell. Peter finally looked up at him, his expression warring between pity and anger.

"Just tell them where they are Sirius," he said in little more than a whisper before closing the cell door and locking it behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"_Crucio!_"

Remus stood silent and still, showing no signs of the agony running through his body. But Voldemort kept his wand pointed at his chest, the pain only increasing the more Remus struggled to ignore it. His blood burned within his veins and his muscles writhed beneath his skin, trying to force his body away from the invisible threat. His lips pulled back in a silent snarl and he sank to his knees, finally surrendering as he threw back his head and let out a howling scream that echoed against the marble walls. 

He knelt there, staring at the ceiling, throat bared and sucking great gasps of air through his clenched teeth as Voldemort finally released him from the spell.

"I grow impatient with your ineptitude, _wolf_," his Master hissed. Remus swayed where he sat but didn't allow himself the luxury of falling to the floor. He opened his mouth to give some excuse, some explanation for why he hadn't been able to get the information his lord wanted. But the vague words died on his lips as Voldemort's voice cut him off.

"Get out of my sight," Remus let his head fall forward and looked into his Master's face. In it he saw the revulsion and disgust he remembered so well from his years at Boubatou. _It's always the same, all humans are the same _he thought, too jaded to be sad and too tired to be angry. Why hadn't he been able to see that side to Voldemort before? He nodded and stood slowly to his feet, walking with as much pride as he could muster as he exited the room with the eyes of every single Death Eater in the Inner Circle burning into his back.

He managed to get halfway to his rooms before his legs gave out again and he fell to the floor.

He sat there, leaning against the wall of the corridor as he tried to silence the memories that pounded for attention in the back of his skull.

Monsieur Lourete taking his parents money before shoving him into the main hall of Boubatou and announcing to the whole school that he had so graciously decided to let a loup-gouru attend his esteemed academy. Living with the constant bruises and silver burns from his fellow students and trying not to choke on the scent of the Wolfsbane many of his classmates had taken to stuffing their pockets with. 

It went on and on in his mind, every slight, every contemptuous look, every time a human had flinched away from his touch.

"Are you alright?" a voice said, breaking through his thoughts. His head whipped around and he snarled at the person who had spoken to him. His eyes cleared of their angry haze enough to see Snape backpedal and slam into the opposite wall. He forced himself to his feet and stumbled down the corridor, offering no explanation or apology for his actions. And slammed his door with what little force he was capable of before collapsing into either unconsciousness or true sleep, he couldn't tell and didn't care.

He awoke hours later to a dark room and a headache pounding a steady rhythm on the inside of his skull. He stood and stretched, sore muscles protesting as he crossed to the window and pulled back a curtain only to be assaulted by the harsh light of the gibbous moon. He stumbled back, his headache redoubling its effort to crack open his skull.

He growled to himself. His body always did this; in times of stress or overexertion he would sleep all day and wake at night. Remus, personally, wouldn't have minded all that much if he'd just gone completely nocturnal. But humans just seemed to love daylight. Even Death Eaters, who did nearly all their work after dark, woke up at an obscene hour to plot and connive and spread useless gossip about each other.

And what ever else he was in addition to it, Voldemort was first and foremost a human, which unfortunately Remus had a tendency to forget. A human, and with a more than adequate share of human prejudices. 

He rubbed at his eyes and walked over to his dresser, pulling out a box that contained his most prized possession. He put on the gloves that lay in the box and picked up the knife that lay within. It was beautiful, made of the purest silver, the blade was engraved with the phases of the moon in perfect detail and the hilt was inlaid with Diamonds and Moonstones.

Many Death Eaters took trophies from every person they killed, but Remus had only a few. And every single one of them had been taken from either Ministry pay rolled 'Dangerous Creature' executioners or freelance werewolf hunters who killed innocent people for something they had no control over. 

That had been why he had joined the throng of Voldemort's supporters, at least at first. Being a Death Eater gave him the power to exact revenge from all those fearful human specters that had haunted his nightmares as a cub.

And as he continued to stare at the knife all his vain hopes and stupid idealism suddenly became laughable. He had joined the Death Eaters because they had let him do what no one else would, get revenge on the human race for everything they had put him, and all other werewolves through. But in truth he was really only helping one group of human bigots to depose another.

He dropped the knife back into its box and stripped off the gloves as he began to pace the room. Remus let his thoughts go back to his prisoner and how he was making Remus life so unpleasant at the moment. 

Black was amazingly strong willed, pain may make his scream, but it never made a dent in the man's resolve. He would probably scream his throat bloody as Remus flayed every inch of skin from his body and _still_ he wouldn't say a word to even _hint_ at the secret he kept behind his closed lips.

Remus entertained the idea of doing just that, but quickly cast it aside. Black would go into shock fairly quickly, and Voldemort would skin _him_ alive if Black died. And as satisfying as it would be to see the Dark Lord through a hissy-fit over Black's death, he wouldn't let Remus live to see the next moonrise, and he wasn't too fond of the idea of dying just yet. 

He really couldn't understand why Black was doing this. The only person Remus had even vague loyalties to was Voldemort, and he would spill everything he knew if he was ever in a situation like Black's. It rankled him that he had no idea what was making Black essentially lay down his very life for people who would probably never know what he had been through to protect them.

It had been nearly a month since he'd brought Black in, and he had no more information about the Potter's than he'd had when he began his interrogations. He snarled to himself in annoyance. In a way he could understand what Voldemort was doing to him. In catching Black when the humans could not, he exceeded his authority, and had given him this near impossible task just so he could watch him fall and be put back into his place.

As much as they would be loath to admit it, the Death Eaters functioned much like a pack, with Voldemort as the Alfa and Remus having the unfortunate luck of being an Omega. But Remus really didn't care if he'd overstepped his bounds, in fact he was beginning to be disgusted by the whole lot of them.

His mutinous train of thought was broken by a knock on the door and he stalked over to the door and yanked it open.

"What?" he snarled. He'd worked himself into a foul enough mood not to care if Voldemort himself was at the door. But, unfortunately, it was only Snape there to bother him yet again. "Yes?" he prompted when all the human did was stand there staring at him in shock and smelling slightly of fear.

"Our Lord wishes your presence," the other Death Eater finally said, backing away from him.

"What is wrong with you, you're not usually this spineless." Remus spat out.

"Your eyes are glowing," Snape said simply, though he did stand up a bit straighter at Remus' barb. Remus sighed and rolled his eyes as he figured out what had set Snape's nerves on edge.

He hadn't bothered to light any torches, so the room behind him would be pitch-black to a human. All that Snape was seeing was the torchlight from the hall reflected in his pupils. "humans…" he muttered under his breath.

"Tell our Lordship," he said mockingly. "That I am interrogating the prisoner and that I refused to let you bother me and was unable to get your message."

"But you're not!" Snape said in protest, looking quite shocked, but lacking the righteous anger at disobeying their 'esteemed' leader that Remus had expected.

"I will be in a minuet, and who's to say I haven't been there since sunset?" he said, smiling wide enough to ensure that his canines glinted in the dim light of the hall. And with one last mocking smile he closed and warded his door and pushed past Snape and down the hall.

It took him less than a minuet to be standing in front of Blacks cell door wondering if he'd gone insane. If Snape reported any of his behavior to Voldemort he was as good as dead. But frankly he was beginning to think that might be a blessing.

He closed the cell door, locked it and then leaned back against it, letting all the pain, weariness and anger that were eating at his body show through his usually ridged control. He didn't even look at Black, instead closing his eyes and truly enjoying the deathly peacefulness of this glorified cage.

The silence stretched taught until finally Black spoke.

"Well?" his once rich voice was by now little more than a croak from too much screaming and not enough talking.

"Well what?" Remus countered, eyes still closed, the cold of the steel door sinking into the muscles of his back.

"Aren't you going to talk? Threaten? Hit me?" Black asked. Remus snorted and shook his head.

"I'm not here for you," he said quietly, letting himself slide down to sit at the foot of the door. "This is the only place where they will leave me alone." He finally opened his eyes to see Black staring at him, confusion and mistrust warring to be the dominant expression on his battered face.

"What do you mean?" he asked tentatively. He looked like he expected him to leap up and strike him at any moment, and on any other day he would. But not today, he was too tired for that game.

"If I'm in here with you, they think I'm doing my job," Remus said, sliding down the door to sit on the solid rock that made up the floor. "I don't get bombarded with insults and orders and cruciatus spells in here." For some reason his comment made Black laugh, a dark humorless laugh that sent chills down his spine.

"That's funny, that's all I _do_ get in here," he said once he'd gotten himself under control again. Remus had gotten so used to not hiding his emotions in front of Black that he didn't even realize the regret and guilt that was plain on his face until he found himself clamping his teeth on a verbal apology. He shook his head to clear it and turned away from Black's piercing stare. 

Remus tried to order his thoughts, to focus on what he thought he was doing. He'd gone down there to hide from Voldemort and his lackies, but what was he doing, why was he being so nice to Black?

"If you hate being out there so much, I'd be willing to trade places with you," Black said casually, distracting Remus from his thoughts. He turned back to stare at him incredulously.

"An interesting idea," he said not quite sure what to make of the suggestion. "But I don't think you'd make a very good Death Eater."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Black said, his cracked lips forming the slightest of uneasy smiles. They sat in silence for a while before Black seemed unable to stand the silence anymore.

"If this is some sort of new way you think will get me to talk it's not going to work," he said, glaring at Remus as if he were trying to bore a hole in him with sight alone.

"Ah, yes. I'm trying to drive you mad with useless drivel and boring conversation," he said, not bothering to hide his amusement. "Shall I start reciting the one thousand completely useless uses for Floberworm skin? Or would you prefer an in-depth explanation of the nature of Centaur hoof care?" Remus congratulated himself on actually making Black laugh, though why he thought that was a good thing escaped his reasoning at the moment. After a few moments Black's mirth died out and he stared at Remus again.

"You're really not here to pummel me?" Black asked incredulously.

"Nope," he said. "But I would appreciate it if, when someone walks by, you'd scream or curse or something. Just for good measure."

"Um…okay…" Black said, still not looking quite convinced, or maybe he was just questioning the sanity of his captor, Remus couldn't quite tell which. "Why are you hiding in here?" he asked after yet another uncomfortable pause.

"I basically just told your friend Snape to tell Voldemort to go fuck himself," Remus said, smiling mirthlessly. "So I'm just waiting here for the others to come and drag me to my funeral." Black just raised an eyebrow.

"You'll forgive me if I don't believe you," Remus just shrugged, he didn't really care if Black believed him or not.

"Why are you doing this?" Remus asked suddenly and at Black's confused look he elaborated. "What's so special about this Potter person that you feel the need to protect him like this?" Black's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not talking about James to you," he spit out, looking like Remus had somehow betrayed him.

"It can't be because he's your lover," he continued, not deterred in the slightest by Black's reaction to the change of topic. "He's married, isn't he? I doubt his wife would put up with something like that."

"I doubt someone like you would understand," Black said, staring at the wall of his cell.

"Someone like me? A Death Eater, you mean?" Remus asked, but Black shook his head.

"Is there anything that you believe strongly in, so strongly that you would fight for it? Die for it?" Black asked. Remus sat there, trying hard to think of anything that made him feel the emotion that he saw flickering behind Black's eyes.

His sudo-crusade to better the lives of werewolves by killing off those who hunted them? No. He did that more to be rid of the childhood fears that the existence of such humans instilled in him that for any loftier ideal. Really the only thing he'd give his life for would be…Remus sighed and bowed his head at how utterly childish he truly was. But he now understood Black a bit better. To be accepted, to be thought of as an equal, for his Lycanthropy to be seen as a part of him, but not all that people ever saw him as. He would die for that, or to protect it, if he ever did find it.

"Yes," he said at last, not all that thrilled to learn that about himself. Black looked surprised but nodded.

"Then imagine all that embodied in one person," he said. "And that's why I'm do this."

"And James Potter really means that much to you?"

"James? No," Black said, shaking his head. "I love James. Like a brother!" he added at the look Remus was giving him. "But I'm doing this for my Godson."

"Your godson?" Remus asked, looking confused. Black nodded.

"James' son, Harry," he explained. "He'd be…What's the date today?"

"May 15," Remus said numbly. The Potters had a son?

"He'd be nearly two years old now. I wonder if he even remembers me?" He said, more to himself than Remus, who continued to stared at him in shock. "What?" Black finally asked.

"I just didn't realize the Potter's had a cub, that's all," Remus said, feeling slightly ill. Killing children had never sat well with him, but Voldemort rarely left them alive to mourn their parents' death. So Black was protecting a cub, that made more sense to Remus than any of the theories that he had been batting around.

"Cub?" Blacks voice brought him back to the present.

"I meant child," he said quickly, mentally kicking himself. It was slipups like that that made people begin to wonder about him. He tried to train himself to think of thing differently, but it never worked.

"But you said cub, why?" asked Black, looking at him quizzically.

"I meant child," he repeated, annoyed with himself for that slip up and annoyed with Black for pushing the issue. His mother had called him 'cub' when he was little and he always forgot that most humans didn't refer to their offspring that way.

Black just sat there staring at him like he were a puzzle and Black couldn't find where to put the last piece in place.

"What are you?" Black finally asked. Remus sighed and smiled humorlessly but didn't say anything for a long moment. He just looked up to met Black's gaze with his own and let the wolf closer to the surface than he normally would. Black stared at him for a moment, considering, trying to putty that last puzzle piece in place. 

"Are you a vampire?" Remus was so completely thrown by that question that he sat there staring dumbly at the other man for quite a while before throwing his head back and laughing.

"Is that a no or a yes?" Black asked, looking at him warily.

"No," Remus said, amusement still evident in his voice. "I am most definitely not a vampire." He was smiling and he couldn't help but notice that Black was staring at his teeth.

"You're not human." He said definitively. "I figured out that much a while ago."

"No, I'm not human," Remus confirmed. Black just sat there quietly, watching him, waiting for him to speak. But when if became obvious that Remus wasn't going to say anything more he asked again.

"What are you?"

"From a human's point of view, you were close to right," he said at last. "They tend to lump werewolves and vampires in the same category. Mostly because they were both human once and now they're not."

"You're a werewolf," Black said. It wasn't quite a question, but Remus still nodded in assent. He looked up to see how the other man reacted to it, thinking he knew what he would find. But Black looked, of all things, morbidly impressed. "I'd heard that Voldemort was getting werewolves to join his ranks, but I never thought that bigoted bastard would let one into his inner circle."

"He didn't know I was a werewolf until I was already in the inner circle," Remus countered grimly. Musing that he really should have realized that the Dark Lord prejudices were not limited to muggles after what he'd done to Remus when he'd found out.

"Why'd he let you stay?" Black asked.

"He would rather suffer a werewolf among his most trusted followers than admit to anyone that he hadn't been able to tell what I was on sight," he said, contempt dripping from his words.

"Why haven't you just left?"

"Being a Death Eater is a great deal like being a werewolf, they only 'cure' for it is death," Remus said. "Neither will let you just leave its curse behind. What?" Remus stopped his verbal musings at the look on Black's face. Your life had to be pretty bad for someone in Black's position to pity you.

"You're as much a prisoner as I am, aren't you," he asked. Remus glared at him for a moment then just let himself slump further against the door.

"Maybe," he admitted quietly. "But if we really are in the same position, then, as morbid as it sounds, why haven't you just killed yourself?" Remus asked. Black pulled a face and shrugged.

"The Fidelius Charm brakes if I d…" the whole world seemed to pause for just a moment as Black's words stuttered to a halt. Remus turned to look at him, eyes wide and mouth agape. Black looked back just as shocked and quite definitely terrified. He looked at if he were about to say something when a sharp knock reverberated against the cell door.

Remus leapt open in surprise and pulled the door open without thinking. On the other side stood Lucius Malfoy, one of the highest ranking, and most vicious, Death Eaters in the circle.

"Lord Voldemort summons you," he said coolly. He looked past Remus to the prisoner he was supposedly interrogating. Remus tensed nervously, hoping that Malfoy wouldn't notice anything amiss and that Black wouldn't give anything away.

"Well, he certainly looks terrified. What did you do, threaten to eat him?" Malfoy asked, laughing at his own cleverness. Remus forced himself to smirk.

"Something like that," he said, struggling to put back in place the mask of confident vicious predator that the other Death Eater was accustomed to seeing. "Shall we?" he asked, walking out of the cell and closing the door behind him. He didn't even spare Black a parting glance.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sirius stared in horror as the door to his cell clanged shut, the sound reverberating around the tiny room and around inside his skull like a struck gong. The terror that had set in at the realization of his verbal slip was now clawing at his brain. Every pain induced hallucination and shrieking nightmare he'd had over the past month of imprisonment danced before his mind's eye, taunting him with what could be. What would be now that he…

Terror rose to panic and panic to blind, silent hysteria as his imagination began supplying images of all the people that were now in danger from that one tiny little slip. Least of all himself.

He had no idea how long he sat there, eyes glazed, body shaking, as his horrific imagination conjured up scenario after scenario of what Voldemort would do to James and Lily. How every thing they'd done, every thing they'd worked for was now ruined. And if was all because of him.

Sirius curled up on himself, pulling his chains to their limit to bring his knees to his chest, and stared blankly into nothing. Too horrified at what he had done even to cry.

And when the door to his cell banged open he was startled so badly from his morbid thoughts that he screamed. The shock of his reaction caused the Death Eater at the door to drop the jug of water he carried and it shattered across the stone floor. Sirius stared at a spinning piece of broken pottery on the now wet floor for a long moment before wrenching his eyes up to stare at the person who'd dropped it.

"What was that for?" Peter asked, sounding both petulant and angry. Sirius just stared at him for a while, confused, and had to bite back the stupid urge to say he was sorry.

"What are you doing here?" he finally managed to ask. Peter sighed and waved his wand at the broken jug and the pieces all shot back together. Forming a decent, if chipped, imitation of what it had been. And there was still water on the floor. 

"Doesn't matter now, does it," Peter said before turning to leave.

"Peter!" Sirius yelled after him. His old friend had been forced, Sirius was sure, to come to his cell every couple of days. Usually to bring food or water, but he never talked, and he never even looked at Sirius. "Pete, please!" the other man froze at the old nickname, shoulders bowed and hands shaking.

"I can't help you escape," Peter said, still not turning around to look at him.

"Just tell me…what's going to happen," he wanted to add '…_to me'_ but didn't think it really needed to be said. Peter turned back and looked at him 

"You've been handed over to Malfoy," he said, as if that explained everything. At his confused expression Peter tried to explain further, but only managed to confuse Sirius more. "*_He* wasn't happy with Lupin when he said he still had nothing. I'm surprised you couldn't' hear him screaming all the way down here."_

"When was this?" Sirius asked. There was no way, *no way,* Lupin wouldn't have told Voldemort what he'd said, was there?

"An hour or two ago," Peter said, looking at him suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just wanted to know if it was before or after Lupin threatened to eat me," Sirius managed to say lightly, his heart pounding. 

"Lupin wouldn't have been in any shape to say anything," Peter said, laughed darkly. "They had to drag his unconscious body out of the room. He won't be awake for days."

He just sat there, his mind spinning. Why didn't Lupin say anything? Did Voldemort just not give him time before hitting him with the first curse? But no, that would be stupid, even for that two bit evil overlord.

"One more question," Sirius pleaded as he noticed Peter turning to walk away. His old friend paused, but didn't say anything. "Why?" It was obvious from Peter's expression that he knew exactly what Sirius was asking.

"You and James couldn't protect me forever," was all that Peter said before turning and walking away. The cell door clanged shut and again Sirius could do nothing but stared at it. But this time his thoughts were a whirlwind of confusion and sadness instead of the mind-numbing horror they had been before.

Sirius sat there, trying to figure out why there wasn't an execution squad of Death Eaters barging into his cell and shouting _avada kadavera. It made no sense. Why would a loyal Death Eater not tell his master the one piece of information he so desperately wanted? Snippets of their conversation came back to him and Sirius started to wonder if maybe all of that hadn't been an act._

It made sense, in a twisted sort of way, that if Lupin really did hate being a Death Eater as much as he had lead Sirius to believe, that he wouldn't tell Voldemort that handy bit of info out of nothing but spite. Not knowing that the Dark Lord would then make an example of him by tearing him to bits with his wand.

And as the thought occurred to him, he didn't know weather to be appalled or not at the fact that he was glad Lupin wasn't dead.

Or maybe Peter had been lying. Maybe it was all some last sick joke on their part, get him to think everything was okay, that his secret was safe for just a bit longer, and then storm in and kill him. It was something he wouldn't have put past Lupin, but he doubted that Voldemort would let him waste even that small amount of time playing with him once he knew how to break the Fidelius charm.

"Hello Black," said a cool voice. Sirius looked up, startled, to see Lucius Malfoy standing in the doorway of his cell. He hadn't even heard it open.

Peter's words came back to him 'You've been handed over to Malfoy.' For some reason, staring at the man who had been Head Boy in Sirius fifth year at Hogwarts, a feeling of dread crawled down his spine and it was only out of sheer force of will that he didn't shiver.

"And here I had always thought you were pretty cool, for a Slytherin," Sirius heard himself say, trying to sound as cocky as possible like he always did when he was afraid.

"Black, "Malfoy said his name as if he were addressing some sort of vermin. The way a snake would address a mouse just before devouring it. "If I have not asked you a question, do not talk."

Now that Malfoy had come all the way into the cell, Sirius could see Snape and two other death eaters. He recognized one of the others as having gone to Hogwarts, but he couldn't place their name.

"Wow, a Hogwarts reunion. How thoughtful Lucius. But no thanks, I'm a bit tied up right now." He quipped, rattling the chains around his wrist for emphasis. At the moment he didn't care how angry Lucius became. He was there to ask him questions, not to kill him. That meant that Lupin hadn't told Voldemort anything. And Lucius wouldn't dare kill him if he didn't know that it would break the Charm instead of making it permanent. He could take anything they threw at him as long as James and Lily remained safe. As long as Harry was safe.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't even hear the spell Lucius said, only feeling the pain it caused as it coursed through his body. Sirius had been hit by the cruiciatus curse before. It hurt, but as horrible as it seamed he was almost used to the magically induced pain of the unforgivable spell.

The pain subsided and Sirius leaned against the wall of his cell panting for breath and glaring at the Death Eaters around him.

"I will make this simple, Black," Lucius said. "All you have to do is give up an address and we'll let you go. That isn't so hard is it?" Sirius gave him a disgusted look at the sickeningly polite tone he'd taken, as if he were talking to a child. He snorted and looked away, yawning deliberately to show exactly how much he didn't care.

"I see that that _creature's_ attempts to get you to talk have only hardened your resolve," Lucius said, his voice ringing with fake disappointment. "I guess I'll just have to try harder, then, won't I?" Sirius looked up in concern at that last statement. What could Lucius do to him that hadn't already been done? He didn't think there was a bone left in his body that hadn't been broken. Crusiatus hurt, gods did it hurt, but the pains had never been, and never would be, enough to make him betray them.

Malfoy smiled cruelly at him and without looking behind him, beckoned the two death eaters who's names Sirius didn't know to come forward.

"Hold him," Sirius barely had time to register the words before he was being held firmly against the wall of his cell. One of the death eaters was holding his jaw, almost as if he were trying to force it open. "Severus, the potion," Sirius' eyes widened. Where they going to give him _veritusium_? It was one of the few things Lupin hadn't tried and he truly didn't know exactly how he would react under the drug. Fear suddenly gripped him, he'd heard that it made the person it was given to compelled to truthfully answer any question that was asked them. So far his best defense against his secrets had been to keep quiet.

He started to struggle but gasped in pain as one of the Death Eaters holding him punched him hard in the stomach. Lucius took the opportunity to  force the neck of the potion's bottle into his open mouth. The bittersweet liquid his the back of his throat and he swallowed convulsively before he could stop himself. It slithered and burned as it went down and Sirius squinted his eyes as the dim light of the cell flaring to daylight brightness to his eyes

"How do you feel?" Lucius asked, his voice suddenly very loud in the small space of Sirius' cell. He was sweaty and shaking, but he didn't feel compelled to answer the question. If they had given him _veritusium_ it wasn't working.

"What did you give me?" he asked. He thought he had whispered the question but his voice had sounded like a shout to his own ears. He started to struggle against the suddenly painfully tight grip of the two Death Eaters. He could feel every protrusion from the rock wall he was being held against as it cut into his skin hard enough, it felt, to crush flesh between the rock and his bruised ribs. He cried out and arched away from the wall under their pinning hands.

"Just an address, Black," Lucius hisses into his ear, impossibly loud, "and this all stops now." Sirius was breathing so herd he couldn't speak even if he'd wanted to and had to settle for shaking his head. He didn't know what Malfoy had done to him, and that scared him. But it would take a lot more than fear to get him to speak. "Not going to talk?" the voice thundered and echoed in the small cell enough to distort it but it had to be Lucius, he was the head flunky at the moment. Sirius opened eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed as something pressed painfully against the bridge of his nose. He caught a glimpse of light at the top and bottom of his vision before the pain spread across his eyes and over him temples and the world went black. It wasn't until his head was pulled forward hard enough to rip out hair and the pain wrapped all the way around his head that he realized that they were blindfolding him with enough pressure to feel like a vice.

He couldn't help but whimper as they let go of his hair, letting his head fall back against the rock wall with enough force for Sirius to see red and white sparks in his completely darkened vision. Someone laughed and it made his ears ring. Sirius didn't know what they'd done to him, it almost felt like a hangover, but no hangover he'd ever had had felt like this. His whole body hurt, his muscles screaming just from the effort of sitting still.

"Hold him still," Sirius whipped his head around to the distorted voice and cried out as something snapped in his neck. Nothing went numb so he knew he hadn't snapped his spine, but gods it had felt like he had. Again they laughed at him loud enough to make his head spin. A hand gripped his wrist hard enough to make the bones grind together. Sirius tried to pull away and it only made the muscles up his arm throb as if he were pulling his own arm from its socket.

"Last chance Black," Sirius gritted his teeth hard enough to think he'd cracked some. He took in a deep breath that stretched his lung to near breaking and burned as it went down.

"No," that one word and his throat felt as if he'd screamed it as loud a he could instead of it being a near whisper. It had sounded as loud too, to his own ears. There was no warning, no sound to give away what was happening around him before white hot pain shot down the nerves of his arm, crawling like fire through his veins from the back of his hand. He jerked back and screamed, trying to clutch his hand to his chest. Laughter loud enough to make his teeth rattle and his head pound echoed around the room. His arm throbbed, the Death Eater holding his arm hadn't let go and it felt as if he'd crushed his wrist.

Sirius whimpered and tried to pull away, trying to ignore the pain as the thrashed desperately to get away from them. In his struggles he hit his head against the wall again and he lay still, his head swimming and spots dancing behind his eyes shaking with adrenaline and fear.

He'd been under magically induced pain enough during his, he knew the feel of it. Whatever Malfoy was doing to him, it was real. Broken bones were one thing, but Lupin could have broken every bone in his body and it would never have hurt like this. His hand throbbed so badly that he couldn't feel his fingers. From the wrist down all he could feel was pain. 

Again there was no warning as pain began to crawl over his arm. His throat and lungs burned and it took him a long time through the pain and panic to realize it was because he was screaming again. He thrashed as the pain spread up his arm and into his shoulder in a searing line. The pain stopped at his shoulder and whoever was holding him still let go of their crushing grip on his wrist. Sirius sagged against the wall, his breath coming in ragged gasps through his abused throat. He though he heard someone say his name, but the words were blurred and distant, drowned out by the pounding in his ears.

Something hit his cheek, then his chest, his other arm, his thigh, pain broke over his skin at every impact causing him to jerk back. A hit to his forehead made him move to cover his head with his arms and fresh pain blossomed from his injured arm. Even in the blindfolded darkness he could feel the world spinning around him. His breath was coming in too-fast gasps for air as spots behind his eyes began to fill his vision. As the blows continued to fall the world went white, then gray, then black. And only then did the pain begin to fade away.


End file.
